Sigh. Happy?

Hello all!
What a long strange month this has been. Unrequited love should be getting easier than it seems to be but alas, it still feels like my soul is being ripped out of my belly with a crochet hook when it strikes. However, my recovery period is greatly lessened by the amazing people that I have in my life.
I fail to understand how with a life so full and wonderful I still feel like strange need for a significant other. I was talking to a friend last night, and was trying to explain that when I got married, even though I was very young (21) I was READY to get married. Had I not picked someone who ended up being very controlling, abusive and just generally unhealthy, I'm sure I would have remained happily married for a long time. But alas, controlling abusive and unhealthy she was....

But for now..... I'm sleeping to dream about someone I haven't met yet. That I know is out there, waiting for me;

i'm dreaming of sleeping
next to you
and feeling like a lost little boy
in a brand new town

i'm counting my sheep
and each one that passes
is another dream to ashes
and they all fall down

and as i lay me down tonight
i close my eyes
what i beautiful sight

i'm sleeping to dream about you
and i'm so damn tired
of having to live without you
but i, i don't mind
i'm sleeping to dream about you
and i'm so tired

i found myself in the riches
your eyes your lips your hair
oh you were everywhere
out there

but i woke up in the ditches
i hit the light and thought you might be here
but you were no where
you were nowhere at home

and as i lay me back to sleep
this love i pray that, that i can keep

i'm sleeping to dream about you
and i'm so damn tired
of having to live without you
but i, i don't mind
i'm sleeping to dream about you
and i'm so tired

just a little lullabye
to keep myself from crying
my self to sleep
from crying myself to sleep at night
just a little lallabye
to keep myself from crying

i'm sleeping to dream about you
and i'm so damn tired
of having to live without you
but i, i don't mind
i'm sleeping to dream about you
i'm so tired


sigh..... Jason Mraz makes everything better doesn't he?

What is this anyway?

I've been struggling lately with not being quite sure what "this" is. Why am I blogging? Is it because I'm trying to have a blog? Is it because my attempts to keep a journal get derailed by the fact that I write by hand so little that my hand cramps up after a page? Am I attempting to muddle through some of the larger debates that I'm having an issue with? Let's just say yes to all.

So lets talk about Swine Flu!!! The story first broke on April 24th. I sat down and did some math and figured out that since that day, during which there have been 169 Deaths, all of Mexican citizens (I believe) only ONE outside Mexico, that of a child. This is sad. Yes. HOWEVER in that same time period

336,000 have died of hunger and 84,000 people of AIDS

give me a break. This is a media created pandemic because it sells papers. FEAR SELLS PAPERS!
Honestly, I wouldn't even care to see all the television, radio and paper space taken up with tales of hunger and HIV/AIDs. How about the rediculousness that is becoming the Vancouver/Whistler 2010 Olympics? Briarpatch released it's May/June 2009 issue last week, and there's an amazing article on the Olympic Resistance Movement. (you can read part of it here) While I read it (having a lovely lunch by myself at my favourite place just a few minutes from the office) I couldn't help thinking, I would LOVE to go and protest this next winter. The irony is that, EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR spent by a protester during the 2010 Games is going to get wrapped up in that larger "THE OLYMPICS MADE THE CITY $XXXXX" And I don't want to be a part of that.
So I'm going to get my own little thing going, here in Regina.

In other news, sun is shining, I'm in flip flops and it's almost the weekend!! Love love love!

Pretty Pretty Pretty

Can life possibly be any sweeter than it is in this moment? I'm sitting in my office, the window is open, the birds are singing, I've got John Mayer acoustic playing, my shoes and socks are off. I'm having dinner with my wonderful new lover tonight, my limbs are still feelings yesterday's yoga.
I have money in the bank, two wonderful cats at home, a BEAUTIFUL little house that nurtures my soul, fresh organic fruit beside me, the best friends a girl could ask for and I'm going to see my parents and sister this weekend.

Love.

Love.

Love.

Earth Day!!

It seems appropriate that my first new blog entry is being written while preparing for my Earth Hour celebration here at Dani's house.    I've got a few of my girlfriends coming over around 7, we're going to eat yummy food, drink yummy drinks, light candles and just be together.  It's going to be great.

So the University of Regina had an election this week, and one of the things up fro debate was the Universal bus pass.  It didn't pass.  Everyone has been saying that the reason it was a bad idea was because the bus system in Regina is really inefficient, it's not fair to make everyone pay for a bus pass when not everyone uses the bus, and that it's not going to increase ridership by making everyone buy a bus pass. 

I have a couple of things to say to this.  First of, I had a revelation yesterday morning (while waiting for a bus, thank you very much) that one of the reasons no one rides the bus in Regina is because transit fares are approximately the same as any other major city ($2.10 for an adult in Regina, vs $2.75 in Toronto, $2.25 in Victoria $2.30 in Winnipeg) while parking downtown in Regina is a) a little cheaper from my recollection (particularily compared to Southern Ontario) and b) WAY more accesible.  

So is the solution to reduce the availability/affordability of parking in the downtown core?   I don't think that is going to do the trick.  Because all it will do is piss people off when they drive downtown anyway.  The key is to subsidize public transit and make it MORE efficient than driving.  Which in a city the size of Regina is a difficult thing to do, seeing it's is still quite easy to get around here.  The UPass and the increased express routes that it would have brought would have gone a long way towards improving transit in this city.  I will admit that I'm a socialist and maybe a little idealistic but I really don't see the $69 a semester as that big of a cost for the a) increased express routes and b) savings of those students that DO take the bus and are paying what? $60 a MONTH for their passes?  Not to mention the environmental effect of even a few more people taking the bus.  

Ah, anyway, enough of my ranting, I need to go clean up the disaster Dani's daughter has made of the kitchen in the two hours since I cleaned it. Growl.